No Naked Skin!

July 4, 2015


IMG_4573 Happy Fourth of July peewee! We’re boating around the Keys this weekend! Absolutely broiling hot! Can you say Chicharones? Fried pork skins! So covering up is a must. Not a sexy look but neither are wrinkles and melanomas! What are you and the kid doing with Daddy? Hope sunblock is on the menu! Lis

Hey Lissa, I saw those brown splotchy legs in an earlier picture, so you must be getting SOME sun.  I’m sure you’re not Vitamin D deficient like I am…

Heading to the water park today — with my hat and sunscreen.  Enjoying my time away from the computer.  Got pix and video (links) to post later.  Ahh, feels good to sleep in…


Cuba; The New Cabo

July 1, 2015

Wow Peewee,
90 miles away felt like 9000 miles. A world of differences! It felt like I was in bubble. The lost civilization of Cuba.

They haven’t even invented dog food there yet. Which explains why I only saw small thin dogs.

Notes to self, don’t go back in the summer, wait till US banks/ internet open there and skip Havana!

But definitely go back. A must do.



Smurf Hands

June 23, 2015

Well, it’s been another adventure in the School of Hard Knocks Handyman 101 course.  My beastly toilet has been making noises ever since I moved in here to the Clampett residence (pre oil riches).  One of my unofficial New Year’s resolutions was that I would get the rotten thing fixed, and so finally after Ace Hardware opened up a store nearby, I trotted off and Smurfhandsbought a new flapper valve and installed it.

No dice.  Instead of making noise every 3-4 minutes, now it began hissing every few seconds.  Hiss, hiss, hiss.  All day and all night, hiss, hiss, hiss.  Did I mention that the bathroom is right next to my bedroom?

When I changed the flapper valve, I discovered that the water shutoff valve underneath the toilet doesn’t actually shut off the water to the toilet.  Not that big a deal for changing a flapper valve, but to replace the other part, you HAVE to be able to shut off the water.  Thus began the Hunt for the Water Shutoff Valve for the whole house.

It turned out to be right outside my back door on the porch, just an innocuous silver lever underneath the water hose.  Never would have found it if a friend’s husband hadn’t helped.  Sneaky place to put a water shutoff valve.  Got to be a guy thing.

So, after a number of false starts, tonight I finally decided to take the bull by the horns and change out the other part of the toilet, you know, the thinga-ma-jingy.  It looked so EASY in the instructions.

Now, let me explain to you the first complicating factor in the operation.  Some months ago I had purchased one of those toilet bowl cleaner kits, consisting of tablets that you place in your tank to keep your toilet clean and make the water a sparkling blue.  I failed to read the instructions, and upon opening it up I saw that there were two tablets, so I placed one into the toilet tank.  I flushed and flushed, but the water never changed color.

Turns out the tablets were supposed to be used together.  One was bleach, and the other was blue guck.  I had placed the bleach tablet into the tank, where it promptly dissolved and did nothing whatsoever to keep the toilet clean.  Later I realized my mistake and placed the blue tablet into the tank, where it sat and turned into a wad of blue guck, and still never turned the water blue — until NOW.

After I turned off the water and flushed the toilet, I proceeded to try to “mop out the remaining water from the tank with a sponge” but the sponge promptly became clogged with blue jelly.  Finally I just placed a bowl underneath the valve and unscrewed it from the bottom of the tank.  Big bowl of indigo blue water.  Now’s where it gets tricky.

Some gorilla-pawed steroid-using oaf of a macho-man torqued that rotten thinga-ma-jingy down so tight into the water valve that although I got the one nut loose from the bottom of the tank — hence all the blue water in the bowl, I could not unscrew the thinga-ma-jingy from the main valve to get it out of the tank in order to replace it.  And let me tell you, all the blue slime wasn’t helping matters.  And with the water shut off to the house, I couldn’t even rinse my hands in the sink.

After some color-coordinated blue language and a roll of now blue paper towels, I realized I had better get some help before it got too late or we would be without water all night.  I dried off my Smurf hands and headed back to Ace Hardware for some advice and a set of channel lock pliers, since my puny pliers just weren’t up to the task.  Boy did they get a good laugh out of my colorful digits.

So, after a bit more grunting, cursing, and a little help from the kid holding a flashlight into the toilet (tight quarters), I finally got the bloody thing out.  The rest was a piece of blueberry pie, and I was able to get the toilet back together and the water back on so I could at least start to wash the God-awful blue dye off my hands (good luck with that).  Then I set to work cleaning up the bathroom, which looked like a crime scene at the Smurf Clubhouse.

It just makes me mad, though, because the installation instructions for the toilet thinga-ma-jingy clearly say not to tighten the plastic nuts down too tight or you can crack them.  And yet some turd of a plumber probably deliberately did exactly that in order to ensure that some poor female tenant without all the right man-tools wouldn’t be able to fix her own toilet.  Jerk!

I did it though, finally.  My reward?  The sound of silence.



this should be your reward!   Please come visit!

Great blog     Please keep writing



Ya got nothing Peewee?

June 20, 2015

Hey there P

Has your furniture in Hawaii that you had in storage arrived yet?  Is your big D filed yet?

I’m going to Cuba soon.  Excited.   Except the fact that I dread seeing stray dogs, malnourished horses and worry about eating mystery meats.  I’m practicing my Spanish.  Donde esta la cantina por favor?    Packing my own toilet paper and going vegan!

Again Ms Ex-to be, whaz up?


Yes, Lissa, I am finally officially divorced.  And yes, I finally got my stuff back from Hawaii — it’s so great to have all my personal mementos back in my possession, especially all the priceless memories from our childhood home that our parents collected.  Things have been rather hectic — working hard to save money for a trip to visit “Grandpa” with the kid.  Not just the money for the trip, but to cover a week’s unpaid vacation.


No Mas!?

June 17, 2015


Our blog may have run its course.   We haven’t been able to vent true feelings for a while for fear of retribution from your hopefully now EX.  Also You are working excess hours online for exceptionally low wages  therefore not inspired to blog online.   So should we sign off?   I don’t want to pay for a year of silence. 



Whaz Up? Peewee 

June 16, 2015

where, what and who’s doing with you?

Are you divorced yet? Can we blog uncensored now?  Or do we still have to watch our Pees and ques because of you know who?

Let us know?


Early to Rise…

June 11, 2015

Whenever possible, I like to get an early start to the day.  I do my best work in the morning, when the house is quiet and Chaos is sleeping.  That means arising immediately after I first awake, around 4:30 or 5:00 a.m.  If I sleep much past that, I start dreaming, and once I enter the dream world, it’s very, very difficult to drag myself away.  It’s sort of like getting to the end of an enjoyable novel, and not wanting to leave your new friends behind.

And if I wake in the middle of a dream, it’s even more treacherous, because I feel as though I’m leaving behind something unfinished.  And so I lie in bed and replay the dream in my head, trying to puzzle out where it was going and why I was having it.  Inevitably I fall asleep and go on to still another perplexing storyline.

Especially after working long hours, when the pressure lets up I try to afford myself at least a few mornings a week to sleep in (like, till 8 a.m.), because I know how important REM sleep and dreaming is for keeping the grey matter in tune.  It allows the brain the opportunity to defragment its hard drive, clean up files and correct format errors.  Ever notice how cranky your computer gets when you keep it on for a few days in a row?

Some experts believe that dreaming is how your subconscious makes sense of events and emotions that are weighing on your mind.  That would explain why people tend to display symptoms of dementia when they undergo significant sleep deprivation.  There are too many unresolved issues tumbling around in the background.  The buffer is full.  Files are corrupted.  Don’t wait for the fatal error message — time to reboot.

Oh well, food for thought.  Time to leave you; Chaos has arisen.

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